dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
