just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
