i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
