# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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