Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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