So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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