I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
