ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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