What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
