you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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