I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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