haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
