If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize