My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
