Kiss
Puke
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
