Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
this is an emotional support booty call
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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