Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My friends, they love my intelligence
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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