Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
