and she was petting her beer can
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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