too bad you live with your parents still
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
