Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
