4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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