so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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