what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We need to get me chipped asap
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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