Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
