Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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