dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize