the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize