Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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