I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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