the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
