There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
