he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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