YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
