She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
