I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I want a musical about memes.
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