I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
