My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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