I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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