Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
