Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
