thus making me awesome and them whores
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
