if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
