Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
