Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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