I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
