remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
