oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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