no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize