well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
