He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
