I must be too annoying 4 u.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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