you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
