Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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