he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Boobs speak an international language.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
