I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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