clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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