His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
