ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
