I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize