so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
