I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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