So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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