I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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