My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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