Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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