I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
