what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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