He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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