Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize