no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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